The Fate Of The Flintstones
by Terry Lynch
Summary: An extremely barbaric tale


The Fate of the Flintstones

"Oh yeah, Wilma! Get my rocks off!" Yelled the voice of that primal buffoon Barney Rubble. "You're really making me want to _bone_ you even harder!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh Fredddd…" she moaned delightfully. This mistake caused Barney to immediately back up off of his best friend's ginger housewife. "Hey handsomee, please climb back on me," she begged

Barney scowled at her in a way only a Neanderthal deep back in the chain of evolution could; his frown curled at such an intense angle that it couldn't possibly be comfortable. "You went and did it Wilma! You pissed me off and now I'm done! You had to bring your greasy husband's name into this, and now I'll make you pay." He shouted. "This frown may be contorting my face, but YOUR cheeks are gonna be the only ones ripping tonight!" Barney grabbed his friend's wife from behind and ripped her loin cloth right off.

"Nooo!" she screamed as he threw her really hard on the ground, face first. He mounted her and began giving her the business, but the playful fling that had previously existed between the two had now gone to a serious, dark route. "FRED! COME HELP ME!" She continued to scream as the chubby nasty man had his way, eventually coming to a finish. As soon as the deed was done however, serious consequences were about to be dealt out. After unleashing a dramatic O face and moaning heavily, Barney looked up to see his best friend's grimace staring straight at him. "Oh son of a brachiosaurus!"

"YOU BASTARD!" WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" the much larger Fred shouted at the man. "STOP RAPING MY WIFE!"

"Sh… she never said no!" rambled Rubble as he began to hightail it out of the house. Barney immediately began running out of the street as Fred himself gave chase. He was in such a rush that he forgot to take his car, a mistake that Fred exploited. He hopped into the wooden chariot and began to run at full force, chasing his best friend and rapist of his wife down the street. "SHIT! That cuck bastard's gaining on me fast!" Barney thought to himself.

Barney quickly stole a rock football away from his confused son playing in the street and lobbed it behind his head, right into position for Fred's running foot to land right on it. He twisted his ankle real hard and shooting pain ran up his body, causing him to collapse to the sandy floor beneath him and run himself over with his own fucking car. Fred laid across the floor in a tremendous deal of pain, only amplified by the sand getting into his open wound. Fred looked down, his eyes blurry, to see that his ankle snapped at a 100 degree angle, causing the skin to rip and his bone to be hanging right out. He couldn't pursue Barney at this rate, and he noticed that the horny little troll was about the length of half of a football field away.

Fred was ready to pass out from the pain, but nothing could stop him from avenging his family. He rose to his feet in a matter of sheer will, just barely staying conscious. He took a deep breath, clenched the rock that broke his foot in his hand, and closed one eye to get a good aim. "You live by the rock, you die by the rock, bitch." His heart began to pound as he sunk his aim in on the nasty little fuck. With all of his strength and will he raised the rock over his head. "YABADABADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He chucked the 15 pound rock over his head across hundreds of yards in a shot so unbelievably precise that it knocked Barney straight in the back of the head, causing him to collapse to his feet. Now came the most difficult part as Fred would have to trek his way all the way over to his victim with only one leg and an exhausted body. He limped and limped, and hopped with all of his might. Eventually the man fell to his knees, and crawled his way to the bastard that betrayed him and turned his life into hell and his wife into a victim. Luckily, he noticed a trail of blood that he followed from the point that the rock met skull. This led him to a bigger rock that Mr. Rubble had sought refuge behind. He was shocked to see his little buddy's skull had been caved in by the shot, and blood was leaking out of his cranium like a round faucet. Barney's hand had to be held up behind his head at all times, as his brain would leak and fall out of his skull otherwise. Fred could finish this fast, but he didn't have any intention of doing that. He wanted Barney to suffer.

Fred grabbed his friend from behind and ripped his loin cloth right off. "NOOOO!" Shouted the rapist coward. "You have to understand buddy, she was in my house under my rules! I didn't do nothing wrong!" Fred was silent other than an animalistic grunt as he wrapped the cloth around his nude friend's neck and began to suffocate him from behind. As he stood up and really wrenched in the choke, the lousy fabric began to tear. While continuing to choke Bastard Rubble with one hand, he ripped his own cloth off and wrapped it with the other for extra firmness. Now both men were naked and angry, one fighting for his life and one trying to end it. The sheer amount of dominance exuded in this situation made Fred erect, a level of arousal that he hadn't had in years again. To tell the truth, this was the first time in decades that he had felt this level of manhood, and that feeling caused his testosterone to boost as if he were a Vietnam veteran overdosing on Viagra.

"STOP SQUIRMING DAMNIT!" He exclaimed as he began stomping his friend in the back with his bad leg, causing blood and chunks of bone to fall off in the process. After a series of extremely stiff kicks, Fred could hear a tearing sound; what little skin and tissue was holding his injured ankle and foot on gave away to the sheer amount of force and friction, causing the lower region of his left leg, bone and all, to fall right off. The struggle was so intense that this only further motivated the killer caveman. Using the sharpened end of the broken bone on the remainder of his leg, Fred began to jab at and puncture his old friend's back. The lacerations grew deeper and deeper on Barney's back, seeping out sappy blood that had no hopes of stopping. Fred, a man possessed, kept stabbing and stabbing deep into his friends back, digging deep to the point that he was doing direct damage to Barney's spinal cord. Fred had broken the man's back, causing complete loss of feeling in his lower regions. The naked enraged man then gave his blonde little buddy a reach around and tore his dick right off. As Barney continued to scream out in pain, Fred shut him up by feeding him his own rod. Fred had broken his back and made him humble, and now it was time to finish him in his old way by fucking him in the ass. He mounted the helpless handicap for a vicious attack and began to go to town, tearing away at his anal canal.

This sexual exploitation was enough that Barney could temporarily escape the more physical aspects of the assault, that is, after he had to chew up and swallow his own severed schlong, and he was able to flail his arm out and grab the family man's disembodied foot. He then used the other end of the bone from the severing to do his own damage, reaching behind him and ending Fred's doggy style domination. In one swift blow, he cut his way across the shaft of Fred's member, causing a deep wound that cut his dick nearly in to. Blood from the body continued to pump into the man's member, which now squirted right out of the open wound, right on to Barney's bare back. This horrible pain was enough to finally make Fred withdraw as he desperately tried to fix the unfixable gory problem. The caveman looked down, mouth agape as he watched the cum that he was about to unleash on his buddy come right out of the open wound in his shaft, colored a vermillion shade of reddish orange from its diffusing mixture. It dripped all into the sand, and the beating hot sun quickly crustened it over for somebody to find out on another day. Fred tried to remount his friend for the big finish, but Barney was now on his back in a full guard position. As Fred climbed over his friend, Barney revealed he was playing possum and used every last bit of his energy to lodge the foot's sharp boney end into his Fred's own eye, immediately rendering it to a white puss-like mush. Fred was able to resist the disorienting and destructive feeling of having his brain tickled and prodded at by his own disheveled bone long enough to reach his hands to the back of Barney's head and claw open the caved in portion of the skull. As the bone was only long enough to barely cut at Fred's gooey pink brain through his extra thick homoerectus skull, the driven family man was able to grab through the back of Barney's skull and squeeze his brain into a lumpy soup, dealing the killing blow.

Fred laid ontop of his best friend and breathed a sigh of mixed relief and pain. His dick was hanging half off, he no longer had one of his feet, his eye was damaged beyond repair, and his brain was cut up to the point that he couldn't remember his own name or who he was. He was losing blood at a rapid rate, but somehow he still was just barely escaping the jaws of death. His conscious only had one direct thought at this point, and he used his newly acquired retard strength to achieve it. Fred wanted to go home and see his family. Being in the disheveled, near death state that he was, it took Fred quite a while to get home. He limped across town as if he were one of the living dead, a feat that took about 20 minutes of mindless traveling to accomplish. With every step, he watched the sun go down more and more. Great gusts of wind howled like hounds from hell as thunder claps echoed through the sky, as if they were some grand war drum that kept the zombie of a man up and marching. As he grew closer to home, rain began to fall from the sky in a downpour like father nature was weeping over what horrible events had occurred that day. He used his last semblances of mindpower to think about the good times. About watching his daughter grow up to be the little girl whom his legacy would be left to. He always wanted a son, but that didn't matter now. He thought about his wonderful wife and how he wanted to see her one more time before he faded away into oblivion. He had to see her, it's all he wanted. Alas, it was now night and the dying, driven man had found his home.

Finally he reached the door and breathed one last sigh. "I… I have picked a beautiful hill to die on" he muttered to himself. He turned the door, but to his surprise, it was locked. Trembling, he looked up to see his pet cat dinosaur staring at him through the window. The little bastard had locked him out yet again… for the last time. "WIIILLMAAAAAAAAAAA!" He belted out with all of his strength, but the raging storm carried out by destiny itself drowned out his final cry. Fred Flintstone, a defeated man, finally felt the sweet release of death as he allowed his eyes to roll to the back of his head and his remaining leg to fail him. He collapsed to the sand below him, a heap of failure and agony. The storm was so intense that night that flooding and eventually mudslides swept his body away and buried it deep below the surface where it would never be found.

Nine months later, Wilma gave birth to a child whose father had been killed by her husband, a bastard son that she inappropriately named Fred the Second. She really held no regrets for getting it on with her blonde neighbor oaf, but she did feel a gripping remorse towards the fact that it caused the death of her loving and caring husband. Thousands of years after all of Fred's family and legacy were wiped out by meteors and erased forever by the sands of time, his body, having been protected by several layers of protective earth was discovered by modern archaeologists. While his bones are damaged beyond definitive identification, Fred's body has served as a motivating piece of evidence for all who believe in the modern theory of evolution. In a coincidence of pure fate, the horrible affair that took place on that day will forever immortalize itself as a cause of conflict and disagreement spanning all of humanity.


End file.
